It's been a while?

So, lots has happened!

Erik decided we need to take a "break" (meaning, we're not dating) so he can figure out his weird emotions.
Which is fine.
We still live together? Haha. Luckily the place has 2 bedrooms.
Things are going decently. I've been having fun, but, I hope things get back to somewhat normal soon.
I kinda feel like Erik's brothers don't want to hang out with me because of this? They won't really talk to me.

Ooooohhhh, well. I've been hanging out with, and nailing, my friend Cassidy. Good times. We dressed up like sexy cats last night and made hard cider. It was delicious. And ridiculous. The whole night/early morning was excellent, really.

Of course I get a tad upset and jealous of Erik's girl he's kinda seeing... Like... I dunno. It seems a bit different to be "in love" with someone else than to just enjoy having friends that you occasionally get down with. Which is how this all began....


Wellll, in other (better) news, I had my nipples pierced this evening! The jewelry is really pretty. Koi is a pretty awesome place. It felt nice to not be totally skeezed on by the person piercing me. My barbell things have cute sky blue opals. :D I will post pics, courtesy of my friend Ty Ty!

Silver Screen Shower Scene

I really must say.... Normal things just do not happen to me.

Yesterday, for instance:
So there's this girl I've been kinda flirting with online and via text.
She happens to be the older sister of a girl I used to work with.
She also happens to work at this waxing salon that does something called a "VAJAZZLE"
And, yes, it is exactly what it sounds like.
Seriously. Click this.

Anyway, she does massages there certain days of the week.
It was a good price, and I was really ouchy and stressed....
Soooo.....
Yep. Met mysterious internet woman for a massage.
It was excellent.
There was, sadly, no "happy ending".
But she did mention wanting to have tequila sometime.

I also began rollerskating on a whim last night, and have decided, on a whim, to tryout for roller derby.
I'm almost certain I will not make it this try out.... But, as I now have my own skates, I can practice whenever.
Sooo..... I'm in need of skating buddies to accompany Miranda and I in our adventures.

p.s. My ass feels ridiculously firm after last night, even considering the bruises.

Beyond Thunderdome

I realize that the "open relationship" status is strange.
It weirds people out.
I get that.
I just don't know how else Erik and I would deal with our weird vanity issues without it.

But at what point does a relationship go from "open" to "polyamorous"?
And, how do you know if you're okay with that?

I just really don't know....
The last little while has been.... strange, to say the least.
I want so badly to leave Utah.
But.... Do I really?
That would mean leaving my friends, my excellent, enjoyable, decently paying job...
My family.
Am I ready for that? I'm only 20.
I feel like I have so much left to do here.
I want to be involved, and make this a better place for other young queer people to grow up in.
I want to be in a position to make enough money to travel to a few places that i REALLY want to go to.

I'm probably just in a weird slump, because I forgot to have my Vitamin P refilled, and have gone without anti-depressants for 2 days.
I'm seriously considering asking my doctor for something a bit.... stronger.
I love the P, but, I don't know that it's cutting it anymore.

Then, of course, there is a counter-point.
I don't like feeling... "addicted."
It sounds silly, and lame, but... If I don't have it for a few days, I do get sick, and achy,and shaky,
and irritable.
The only time this has happened to me before is when I took too many diet pills for a while.
I quit that all on my own, and haven't had trouble since.
However.... the anti-depressant seems to be something so needed in my life.
I hate depending on 2 little pills.

I hate........... Most things right now.

I hate that my boyfriend has another girl, due to our relationship.
Not because I'm mad that he likes her... but....
That I'm jealous. I don't have that.
I have... Me. Video Games. Cats.
Clients.
That's me, right now, in a nutshell.
I am far too histrionic to deal with this not feeling wanted.
I suppose there is not much of a demand for girls like me, anyway.
I don't say that to sound mopey... It's just true.
At least for the demographic I WANT to want me.
That demographic being pretty, girly girls.
I'm just... I dunno.
Not what they want.
Maybe I'm too fat, or too pretentious, or too needy.
I dunno.

I'm just rather sick of everything as of late.

Or maybe I am just hopped up on too much Theraflu/cold medicine.

FML. FMF'ingL!

Well, no, not really.... Unless you happen to be a pretty girl.
Teeeeheeeeee.

Back-room Jews

Christ Why and i were made to drink our alcohol in the back room, because Erik and Greg were having Man Time in the living room.

Talk turned to Erik and Greg saying that we Jews didn't have toilets, something about Anne Frank, and shitting in bowls...

I got a little Coppercab up in that bitch.